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| Main / Sea Devils / Weasel Droppings Search Forum | |
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| Poster | Message |
| posted: 2024-04-19 01:39:11 (ID: 100183152) Report Abuse | |
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The Weasel Traders have placed fullback Tarik Omar on the Transfer Market. This has nothing to do with him being Canadian.
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| posted: 2024-04-19 17:35:51 (ID: 100183161) Edits found: 1 Report Abuse | |
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Last edited on 2024-04-19 17:36:31 by hmpf22 |
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| posted: 2024-04-19 21:58:19 (ID: 100183169) Report Abuse | |
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Weasel Trader Director of Security, Mr Gawonna Friskem:
I personally would like to thank the visiting St. Pauli Fans (the SPF 50) for surrendering any and all of the illegal materials seen in the above video prior to todays match. We have accounted and returned to the SPF 50 every smoke bomb, firework, flare, flag pole and sex toy doll. The Weasel Trader Found Department (WTF) will be open during normal business hours 9am - 4:20 PM 6 to 8 days a week. In closing, I wish to extend our thanks to all of the SPF 50 for their understanding and cooperation during todays game. |
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| posted: 2024-05-08 00:52:43 (ID: 100183717) Edits found: 1 Report Abuse | |
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HC Alan "Chompin" Chomin at the weekly press Conference:
When asked a leading question about how disappointed he must be by a pool reporter. "Dissapointed? Bite Me! I'm Freakin' Ecstatic that the Weasel Traders did not win ONE, (pause) SINGLE, (pause) IN-DI-VID-U-AL Award for Season 55" "We are ONE Team, All Weasels!" He then paused for a moment before turning and pinning "The List" to the wall. The presser was abruptly over with this solemn move. Every reporter knows that the only answers they were going to get until next week were the names on "The List". And those poor names weren't going to be Weasels for long. Last edited on 2024-05-08 01:25:32 by Stabler12 |
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| posted: 2024-05-10 17:52:57 (ID: 100183759) Report Abuse | |
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Director of Scouting, Bennett Hendrickx, on today's zoom call. Responding to a press question about having a favorite trait he looks for in a prospect.
"Slipperiness for sure. I mean, it's hard to get your hands on a good, young, slippery Weasel. The slipperier, the better we say around here. And since we don't have a HR Department, it falls to me to staff Legal, Accounting, Finance, Grounds..." Interupting Reporter: "Did you say The Weasel Traders do not have a HR Dept? Why is that?" Hendrickx: "I'm sorry. I didn't say anything. Having....technical problems" camera goes dark as Hendrickx leaves the call. |
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| posted: 2024-05-11 15:53:22 (ID: 100183772) Report Abuse | |
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Michigan State Police 7th district commander Johnathan Law:
"Today the MSP in cooperation with the Otsego County Sheriff conducted a raid of Tim Hortons Gaylord location. During the search of the premises a hidden compartment was found under the bearclaws and Tim Bits. We believe at this time that this is a stash for an international terrorist organization. Homeland Security and the FBI have been alerted." Reporter: "Can you tell us anything about what you found?" Johnny Law: "We are still conducting a thorough inventory at this time. But the items seem very random and unconnected. A lot of CD's. Shania Twain, Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, Alanis Morissette, Neil Young, Drake. There was even a Janis Joplin in there. There was a huge box labled "Toques" with bunch of beanies in it. 50+ cases of something called "Brador". Meat. We think they somehow tapped the back of the cooler to keep a large collection of back bacon fresh. But as I said earlier we are continuing our investigation on site until the feds show up" |
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| posted: 2024-05-13 07:56:17 (ID: 100183802) Report Abuse | |
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The Corsairs GM was by pure coincidence walking that street at that time, he just whistles and keeps walking innocently once he sees the police there.
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| posted: 2024-05-13 14:35:10 (ID: 100183813) Report Abuse | |
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Dept. of Homeland Security Chief Alejandro Mayorkas:
"Further investigation into the Tim Horton stash shows evidence that these items were brought into this country from some place called "British Columbia" and are not from Northern Michigan. I just texted King Charles moments ago to ask for his help in locating "British Columbia" as soon as possible. I will u p d a t e you all as soon as he texts me back. I would also like to take a personal moment to say thank you to the many extraordinarily nice people I have met while here. First of all the people of Northern Michigan, whose hospitality is world class. Secondly, Tim Horton Management and staff for being so helpful in their cooperation in this investigation. Finally, all the Burnaby Bruisers and Vancouver Corsairs fans that are in town for the next 2 days matches. Go Weasels!" |
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| posted: 2024-05-17 02:26:37 (ID: 100183923) Report Abuse | |
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WTF Y'All in Turmoil! The Weasel Trader-Frierson Youth Academy LLc has been made aware that there are ten 18yo's currently in the Academy. There has been no official comment but the fire alarm has been triggered and there is a lot of scurrying around.
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