Weasel News Network

Contractually mandated WNN interview with Michigan Weasel Head Coach Brais "Blazer” Baczek and WNN reporter Wally Waggertails

Wally Waggertails: Thank you for taking the time and sitting down with us today Coach. Do you ever not wear the ripped hoodie?

BB: No. Growing up in a small town in Ghana naturally my hero is Bill Belichik. We have made “Do Your Job” our coaching philosophy from the beginning. It is integral to Weasel Football. We train the best athletes and expect them to get the job done. And Bill always looks really comfortable in the ripped hoodie.

WW: Last season was a disaster in Supercup with an early first round exit. Any changes planned this year?

BB: No. Supercup is a weird animal and the season is worthless. We are going to make the playoffs. We as a coaching staff ignore it all year until the playoffs. And we all know playoff games are crapshoots. And boy howdy did I have to hear from the Weasels in accounting about missing that Supercup playoff money. You know they blamed me for the $19 million dollar loss last season? Hell, we gave buckets of cash to the Minnesota Chad Friggin-Thurmans for #%@'s sake! And now I can't have the players I want because of budget constraints? There's shit-tonnes of money in the bank and now is the time to use it! How the $^#% am I suppposed to compete while losing our leading tackler. Yes, he was Canadian but he was a baller! We already knew Toots was retireing, taking his 3000 yards of offence with him, It's just not fair. (quiet sobbing).....

WW: Umm...There is a lot to unpack there. How about this one. Coach, with all the changes occurring in Sea Devils, are you doing anything different this season for League play?

BB: Changes? What changes? We got two teams from Minnesota and the team from Canada. That is it. We need to “Do our job” and get that fifth division crown. We do that, the playoffs take care of themselves. I don't want to screw with wildcards, there are way too many good teams in the NC to be risking winning a wilcard spot. Hell! A 12 and 4 Wedneday squad missed the playoffs last season! 12-4 is a great season and pfffffffffft....nothing. Job 1 is win the division. From there as I said before, the playoffs are a crapshoot and anything can happen. Like back in S56.

WW: Can you take a moment and talk in depth about each of your West rivals?

BB: Each of our rivals? There is only one. So I don't really understand the question. But fine, let's talk about the Canadians. The team from Canada is the standard to which we gauge success. A great rival and a more than worthy adversary. You have to understand we are still the underdog in this fight as they have one more division title than we do. Until we even that up, they have one on us. Offensively; The passing attack with Cary and Chisolm is 1st rate and will only improve. Defensively, they are solid as well but what you really have to appreciate how young the entire team is (24.4) This is a great team built to play now and for the next 4 years. Every season, they will be our focus.

WW: And the Minnesota Silver Foxes? How do you see them and Chad Thurman?

BB: Chad Thurman? Every Weasel player coach and staffer can quote QB coach Nirmal Kilindo from years ago when we first scouted the Wonderboy. We joke about this all the time around the facility. Nirmal read the scouting report and said “Ma soeur est plus forte”. (chuckles) Enough about him. As for the team, until RyanTeg gets to full capacity we don't have to worry about a serious charge from them. Don't get me wrong, I love the Silvers errr Silver Foxes. The fact that they are able to beat the Canadians every year is just the best. But, until they get on solid financial ground they just wont be able to compete or develop quality players. I hope they build a nest egg so they can become competitive. I actually expect the Minotaurs to pass them in team development this year.

WW: So you think highly of the Minotaurs?

BB: For sure. They have some real good developing talent there. Dundas is every bit as good as Thurman. I just hope they continue to build out State Fair stadium and put away some major cash. They are in a great position to do that with a full pledge to the mediacenter and a sub $1.5million payroll. That really is the key for both Minnesota teams. Every team needs a solid financial footing before you can really start to compete in RZA. Can the Minotaurs take 3rd place in the West? The have one Particular Condition that might keep them achieving it, but I think they will figure it out soon.

WW: Any predictions for the future before we let you go Coach?

BB: Nothing other than I will be a year older in 78 days.

Weasel News Network Wally Waggertails reporting from Lambeu-Millerntor stadium:

With the Weasels having a bye week, I traveled to Hamburg, Germany to attend the Sea Devil Match of the Week, St.Pauli Packers hosting the Hamburg Sea Lions. Believe it or not Weasel fans, there is no visiting team in this match. It turns out that both of these teams are in the same city. Can you imagine? It would be like the Canadian team living on the west side of beautiful downtown Gaylord!
Anyway, on to the game where the Packers won convincingly 38-16.
The game was controlled by the Packers 470 yards through the air and limiting picks to just 2. The Sea Lions turned those 2 picks into 10 points, but the offense sputtered otherwise going only 4 of 13 on 3rd down. Reporting from the "Handsy in the Attic" city, this is your always faithful reporter Wally Waggertails.

I have the same bye week on Saturday. I'll visit you in Michigan to see if the Bears are still doing what the Packers know them for.

Then I'll also tell you that there's a third Sea Devil in our village and that not both of the Constanta managers live in Constanta and which one of them lives in Vancouver.

Yeah sometimes ppl just do not put there home states, for example, I live in Cali, while my team is in Minnesota

I live near Barcelona, Spain, but my family (father side) is from Vancouver.

Cali Silver Foxes

The Barca Corsairs

Yeah, but that still wouldn't work since actual silver Foxes are not native to California

Cali Schwarzeneggers