Home of Jimmy GQ's Jockstraps

Owned by oakbark (Last logged in on 2019-06-18 05:18:24 )

Joined the game: 2015-08-16 / S18

Manager rank is Top Manager

Sponsored by Alaskan Adventures Inc. - Being chased by bears never came so cheap!

League: Thunder 1 AC West

ELO score: 992 - Rank global: 71 - Rank in league: 7

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Team chemistry:
100 %
100 %
Physical condition:
97 %
Financial situation:
76.6 %
79.1 %
  Avg Age Seniors: 24.4
Pass Defense:
78.1 %
  Rush Defense:
79.1 %
  Weekly wages Players $ 3,159,874
Special Team:
80.3 %
78.4 %
  Weekly wages Coaches $ 1,635,320
Stadium: Garoppolo's Love Den (capacity: 144300)
Home Away
Trophy room
Hide Trophies won by oakbark (13)
Season 30Member RZA Elite League
Season 29All Stars Challenge, All Stars were playing relaxed tactics
Season 29League Champion Thunder 1
Season 29Conference Champion Thunder 1 AC
Season 29Winner Thunder 1 AC East
Season 26Member RZA Elite League
Season 25Conference Champion Thunder 1 AC
Season 25Winner Thunder 1 AC South
Season 24Winner Thunder 1 AC South
Season 23Winner Thunder 1 AC South
Season 21Winner Thunder 1 AC South
Season 19Winner Thunder 2 NC East
Season 18Winner Thunder 2 NC East
Show Trophies won by previous team owners (3)
Record (current season)
Game type Won Lost
Champ of Champions00
Friendly Cup00
Top 5 releases show all

2018-05-15 18:08:58 - Season 29 ReviewReport Abuse


Excellent league season whereby The Jockstraps powered their way to Championship Glory. Time from growing therefore? Not really if we are honest The Jockstraps were this season the best squad in terms of skills experience and depth, we only achieved what we shoukd have. The players were the equal of every other squad. It was down to me not to lose it with my gameplanning, and amazingly i didn't.


Well we lost our first cap and closed out the League season with 14 wins. Our first postseason Supercup win was followed by a loss but thst didn't take the shine of the season.


Several players retired this off season. One in particular will be missed.

Sam Cunningham whom we drafted in the first round in Season X is a sure fire First Ballet HoF player. He is the epitome of The Jockstraps and was awarded the nickname Mr Jockstrap by fans and teammates alike. It will hurt not having him in training camp for the first time in a long long time.

Rating (2 users):  

2018-02-17 19:51:07 - Season 29 PreviewReport Abuse

Obviously we have the sexiest name in RZA given that we had just drafted in as part Owner the Greatest QB to ever play for Belichek. Bringing in Jimmy GQ has given e everyone a lift so here is my preview of the season.

QB Svorbada is Stud, the backup Lynch is well, a noodle armed, athletically challenged young man with great intangibles (think the anti Colin Kapernick oh that's Joe Montana then)

HB Norwood is a good not great back. Robinson will be a better player in a season or two Some excellent prospects round out the group

FB Graham is a talent but is in his farewell season. The backups are solid. Hot prospect for the future rounds out the group

WR Four WR1 style players headline the group. You know this lot are gonna be jabbing every game about not seeing the ball enough. Beat reporters going to get some copy from this group. Some young burners round the group out, pity they can't catch a cold currently.

TE Three fatties that can run a bit, should find some spaces in the middle over the field given defences need to account for the Olympic relay squad on the perimeter.

OL Fantastic starting unit who's only real problem is that they don't know one another first names yet, never mind blocking assignments. Superb depth here too, it is fair to say the roster has at least a Decades worth of Talent here

K and P who cares they aint football players are they.

DL Beast mode up middle. Fat men flattening fatt men then smashing little boys with fancy shoes. These are the guys that best exemplify the Jockstraps brand of football. Some of fat guys can run too. They may get a few Fat Man TD's (sacks) They also dont know each other by first name yet. Mainly because they need to get to know one another although a couple might just be that stupid.

LB Bunch of studs here. Think the words we are looking for are splash plays. The Cheerleaders like these guys, they look good with their shirts off!!

CB Talent and Depth which means more egos than at Vince McMahons Christmas dinner table. Expect a lot of dancing and high stepping. Expect even more jawing at WR from the opposition who watch these guys making plays.

SF The stand at the back and clean up everyone else messes. Ideally one steps up this year to become Mr Wolfe (Pulp Fiction reference)

That's the team in a nutshell, it's looking good for the second half of the season though.

I will be disappointed without a deep run into the playoffs and would like this year or next to make another push for Elite.

Rating (1 users):  

2018-02-13 20:23:08 - season 28 ReviewReport Abuse

Season 28 and the Limerick Lickers were quite a fancied team.

Fancied by who or why is the question. GM Oakbark wasnt fooled, he knew there were holes Specifically O line and WR. Fear not we can throw checkdowns to RB he decried. After all Tom -G.O.A.T- had won the Superbowl doing just that. He also lost a bunch of course not like Cool Joe, he was undefeated in the Bowl games and had a console game named after him. -G.O.A.T- just about managed to get his picture on a game but hey Peyton Hillis had even done that and he was a pile of stinking dog turd.

The coaches didnt wish to tell Oakbark that Big Pete had outlawed passing to RB in RZA. Rumours are that its not real football and that manly RB's shouldn't be doing girly things like catching. That was simply for Pink Unicorn loving wideouts.

So anyhow onto season 28 and Oakbark clearly Ballsed the whole season up.

First off he had deleted his playbook and being a lazy tool didnt bother implementing one until week 26 or so.

Second he sold his franchise QB. This sucked largely because he meant to sell his backup. Which goes to show you don't do trades on a phone.

Thirdly other teams in Thunder had got their act together and it actually required some effort to play a lot more than it used to. The slacker generation was never meant to work this hard.

Fourthly Oakbark had some AssClown of a new boss who actually didn't want him playing on his phone at work. What a douchebag that guy is.

Fifthly Mrs Oakbark likes to talk when he did get home. FML she actually expects me to listen as well. This was solved i ran through my depth chart with her one night. She dont wanna talk no more.

Oh yeah the season review. We sucked needed to get better players in, ship out some dead wood. We could of course have carried on the growth for a few seasons but that turns out to be quite boring. Mediocrity kills.

Rating (4 users):  

2018-02-13 19:22:03 - ShamelessReport Abuse

A heavy night in bandit country led Oakbark to stagger into a fancy looking horse drawn caravan. 100 Euro's and his rolex were exchanged for 10 minutes communing with the spirit of his mentor, Al 'Just win Baby' Davis.

Okay Oak, listen up, successful football teams are built on two things. Speed and lucrative Franchise moves, follow the money and draft for 40 times, this is how I built the Raiders, you dig?

Oakbark understood or he did to the best of his limited knowledge. He thought long and hard whilst within his ensuite chamber of thoughts back in the office.

Speed is simpler, but money, where will i find money. It was then that it happened. A raven haired, tanned Angel entered his consciousness. The smile radiated warmth. The athletic yet lithe body exueded power and strength. The Angels very presence filled hearts with hope and joy.

The Angel was named Jimmy, Jimmy Garappolo and he was every bit as handsome and heroic as the legends foretold.

Oakbark looked upon this God amongst men and saw that here was the bandwagon to commit to. Of course Jimmy GQ was signed to a contract so could not throw for Oak but he could be involved. A part Owner was needed and the most handsome man in the NFL, newly minted after his record setting new deal was The Man.

Jimmy GQ and Oakbark sat down with a bittle of rhe green stuff.

'Jimmy, why then did you leave the Pats?'

Jimmy explained, Well Oaky Pokey, once it became obvious in camp that Tom 18 and 1 Giant Loss -G.O.A.T- was the second best guy in camp I was on my way out. So I was dealt to Quarterback Killer York thinking he would ruin my career to. The thing is Robert Kraft ( He of council house cheese fame) didnt figure in on two things. Shanahan and Lynch. Lynch scares the pants off evey GM in the NFL (bar Baltimore Oz but hes lumbered with Flacco) and so enforces favourable trades and signings. Shanahan also happens to be the first non idiot or non ego since George Seifert to HC the Niners. The dude grew up being babysat by Charles Haley except on Sundays when Steve Young took over. Football is in his blood.

Ok then why did Smith get booted out and replaced by Kapernick.

Funny story that one. Brent Jones orders the letters for the iron on shirts. He got the K and S mixed up so we ended with 1000's of then. Starting Kap at AN was the only hope.

This insight really shed some light onto how to run a franchise. The only problem bejng that Oakbark wasmt exactly sure how to say his starting QB's name so spelling it wasn't gonna be a cinch.

Five hours and three bottles of Ireland's finest later and Negotiations concluded. Jimmy had too much money already, and with no Mrs Garropolo about to spend it he didn't need more. He wanted to be a Legend, he wanted the team named after him and the field named in his honour.

A rather hammered Oakbark agreed, The Jockstraps were therefore born. It was more macho than Lickers and Jockstrap Lickers didnt bring up the image Oakbark wanted to cultivate for his pride and joy.

Rating (1 users):  

2017-10-24 18:21:17 - Top o' The Morning to ya....Report Abuse

Oakbark never one to shy away from jumping on a badwagon made the tough decision to upsticks and chase the Euro's.

Finding a great great great grandfather had an irish setter he proudly declared himself not just Irish but European and crossed the sea upping his franchise yet again.

When it came to stadium naming Oakbark overlooked great names from Limericks past such as Eamon deValera and settled upon Sir Terry Wogan as the name to honour. This decision was possibly influenced by his granny who thought Terry had a nice voice. It was also likely influenced by his general ignorance and the fact he studied Woodwork rather than History.

In a shameless attempt to prove how Irish The Lickers are, he hired a newly reformed B*witched to provide the halftime entertainment. The fact that they a cheap booking as they only have one song was a non factor in the decision.

Far more shameless was the hiring of dwarves and dressing them in emerald green top hot and tails to act as ushers and hot dog sellers.

Foam Shamrocks replaced the foam fingers in the Fanshop and lucky heather was sold in the stand. Oakbark has a meeting later with some local advisors who have already stopped the idea of Gingers selling 50 assorted varieties of Potato snacks in the stands as the lesser of several ideas gone to far.

Rating (2 users):