Blog, tagged with News
2019-10-11 19:48

7th of January 2019, Alligator Arena, Amersfoort. The famous Alligators have just been trounced the Hedgehogs Oberammergau 73-0 at home finishing season 32 with a 11-5 record. They finished second in the division behind Deflators which is no shame. The wild card game looms and many fans hope, as always, that the Alligators can repeat their heroics of six seasons ago when they won the Bowl in season 26 and got promoted to the Elite division.

Three days later however, on xmas day no less, the Alligators fall to a last minute TD by the Cougars and end up losing 24-27. Although the fans are disappointed many see a team that is rising once more and although they leave disappointed it is with the expectation that next season will be a better season.

However unbeknownst to everyone not all is well in Alligator Arena. As the last players leave the stadium we enter a quiet boardroom. Too quiet really. The whole coaching staff is there but there is an ominous silence. The door swings open and in walks Cheesehead, the owner of the team. He briskly walks to the end of the table and without sitting down, slams his fast on the table. "Enough!" he shouts. "I"ve tried to buy a succesful team but look where it's got me. A loss in the wild card round! The wild card round! Are you f$%^ing kidding me." He points at the coffee corner in the boardroom. "I tried to buy success and spend all my money doing it. Now I cannot even afford to buy new coffee for that damned machine over there. I am sorry I have to do it this way, but you are all suspended until you receive your severance package on 7th of January. Thanks for giving me this turd of a team! Now out of the room, all of you. NOW!!!"

Stunned, the people in attendance look at each other confusingly. Then the scottish CB coach Lyle Stuart, always known for having a short fuse, gets up and says: "Well ok then. %^& you Cheesehead and thanks for nothing!" and he storms out of the room. More people follow. TE coach Faouzi Gammoudi is the first one to follow Lyle, then OL coach Dany Creamer and finally all but one have left the room. The last one to get up is HC Safari Gakwaya. He slowly walks to the door but before he walks out he turns around and says in his thick Malawian accent: "You know you only got yourself to blame for this 'turd of a team' Cheesehead. I had expected better from you."

And Cheesehead lowered his head for he knew that Safari was right. He had lashed out and he regretted it already. But it was done now. It made no difference really. The staff would get a nice severance package from a loan he had negotiated from the league. From the league no less, how embarrassing was that. And he had to pay it back in three weeks or else he would have his license to operate revoked. That would really be the end.

But he gathered himself together. He had to. No one else would. He had literally just fired all the staff. Tomorrow trucks were coming to pick up all the exercise equipment in the training facility. He had sold even that, just to get as much money together as possible.

His thoughts wandered to that fateful day that Safari had alluded to when he left the room. It was the end of season 27. 18th of November 2017 to be precise. Alligators first season at the highest level of football, the Elite league. They had finished with a respectable 6-10 record. Something he could be proud of. On top of that his team was ascendant. Many future stars populated the locker room first among them QB Nader Qasem. Even though life had been tough in Elite for the kid the future looked immensely bright for the kid.

He was scheduled to fly to the States for a well deserved holiday later today. However there was one big task left before he could go. The paperwork for the contract renewals for his team. As per league guidelines the paperwork had to be filed before season end, which was today. Fortunately he had done his homework and he had scanned all 53 contracts and attached as pdf's to the email. All he had to do was to press Send. And that is what he did, closing his laptop immediately after doing so, he was running late.

The next day however would be a day he would never forget. He had arrived in the states and just the fact he had 33 voice mails and 65 text messages told him something was very very wrong. Half an hour later he was sitting in the lobby of the airport, sick tot the stomach. Laptop in front of him he was staring at his mail client. There it was: the contract renewal email with the 53 pdf attachments, the paperwork for the contract renewal of most of his players. A pop-up message could be seen over the email with the message reading: "Attachment size exceeds the allowable limit". This message meant that the mail had not been sent and he had failed to see the message pop-up as he had closed his laptop immediately.

He had phoned Commissioner Pete right away but his answer had been very Pete-like: "Don't blame me for your own stupidity, those players are gone Cheesehead". That had meant that most of him team had left including his beloved QB. Just like that.

This was the start of the downfall of the Alligators. Unable to cope with losing his star studded team he had spend money frivolously on journeymen players. And finally, here on the 7th of January 2019, is where it had brought Cheesehead. On the brink of ruin. He only saw one way out. Burn the team to the ground and build it up, step by step. It would mean gutting the team, firing all staff, closing the Academy, everything had to go. And this is what Cheesehead did. The team for season 33 consisted only of draft players, promoted academy players and underage players who were signed off the street and went straight into the first time. The result had been predictable. On the 16th of March 2019 on the final league day of season 33 the Alligators were relegated to Thunder 2. The final game was Xu Da at home and the Alligators scored their first points of the game (a field goal) after going behind 20-0 midway through the second quarter. They ended up losing 47-17. A sad sad end to an era for the once so proud Amersfoort Alligators.

This is where our story begins. We've seen the fall of the Amersfoort Alligators. Now I want to invite you to join the Alligators as they try to reclaim the position at the top of Thunder 1 and posssibly Elite. Cheesehead has given us full access to all facets of the club. We will meet and talk to the people behind the scenes, we will have unrestricted access to the locker room and we will be able to leaf through the play book whenever we want to.

Next time on RZA Insider: the search for the next head coach begins!

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2019-08-27 22:11


The RZA Insider Magazine

Welcome to the thirds edition of the RZA Insider . After a long holiday the editor is back into the action! In this edition the editor is gonna talk about a self-imposed team building challenge he is taking right now.

What is RZA? - UPDATE
Last edition we identified the following personas in RZA:


Badgers suggested we need another persona called:
This is a team that consistently makes the playoffs, but can never win any play-off game. Both the Amersfoort Alligators (for a while anyway) and Badgers own Green Bay Hackers belonged to this category for sure!


We will occassionally review what happens in the Elite division - we will treat it more like a soap opera though. If you think you've seen something worth mentioning here, send it via PM to Cheesehead.

The AC East is having a hissy fit amongst themselves this season with the division looking like a pit of fighting dogs. Even the mighty Bears are off form. Landru Athletics continues to perform the act of an emo kid and is trying really hard to get relegated and he will definitely fail again of course in spectacular fashion on the last day of the season.

The super star that everyone envies but also cannot stop trying to the best friend of, San Diego Blitzkrieg, is back to his old ways which is dominating on the field. He is like the big tech firms he lives so close to: he pretends to be wise but it's all about getting more power to dominate Elite even harder.

The only one who can stop the Blitzkrieg is the next big thing up, Wilmersdorf Wadenbeisser, but he somehow managed to lose to the Neuseen Buccaneers recently. Can't be that great for the team's confidence!

Overall though, in general it does looks like Elite teams are being run very close by the challengers at their heels. Keep it up RZA. Fight the power back! :-)

This is a space where I will post interesting threads / posts from around the forums. If you wrote or have seen anything that you want featured here just PM Cheesehead.

BLOWING SMOKE blog by Jonny Utah & MonsterT95
Blowing smoke

We all love good writers in the RZA community. And hidden in the Dragons has been a little diamond called Blowing Smoke. It is written by legends of the community, Jonny Utah & MonsterT95. According to themselves it is a "Dragons sports chat. Over various episodes Monster and I will cover the Dragons region, both second divisions as well as the first.
We will in future posts go into depth with specific divisions and teams". The lastest edition can be found here and is well worth the read.

Thanks to Drogon for submitting this

FIRE Mid Season Recap
Personally the editor loves to read recaps as it gives you a rare insight into a division that is not your own

Badgers wrote a mid season reciew and even though it's a month old it's still worth the read: Fire Mid Season Recap

Well, that was it for the third issue of the RZA Insider. As always the accompanying discussion thread can be found here Go there to comment on anything in this issue of the RZA Insider!

Finally, remember that the RZA Insider is a community project and you can submit anything you like!

Your intrepid reporter Cheesehead

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