Blog, tagged with RZA Users Mag
2020-02-08 10:43

In the prologue of Inside the Amersfoort Alligators we had seen how Cheeshead had ruined his team by forgetting to renew contracts (so painful!) and the burn the team to the ground. Today, 13 April 2019, was the start of the first season of the next chapter in the storied history of the Amersfoort Alligators. A new HC called Yod Veerapol had been hired but everyone but the Yod knew he was just a placeholder as in the meantime Cheesehead was frantically traveling the world to find the best coach to lead the Alligators back to glory.

Not any guy would do. The guy had to be the absolute best. Cheesehead was willing to give him a blank check basically.

Yod meanwhile had not started bad at all and after six games the Alligators were sitting at a 4-2 record. Not bad for a team that had literally no talent at all.

It must have come as a surprise then for Yod when a day after 31-17 win over Wyvern he was summoned into the boardroom. He knew something was up when he say a 40-year old sitting there already in casual gear. Cheesehead stood up, shook his hand and then explained that while he had done a good job, he just didn't feel Yod was the coach to lead the Alligators into the future. "Truth was," he explained, "we need a fresh breath of air into this organisation and into the Playbook most of all. You are just a chip of the old block, Yod, no offense. Thanks for what you've done so far here and you will get a very favourable severance package but I've got to let you go now."

And with that Yod was out the door.

But who was this new guy. Rumours were abound as no one seemed to have anything on this guy. But everyone got their answer at the presser the next day. Cheesehead was there with a smile from ear to ear. It was clear he was feeling pretty pleased with himself. Next to him sat a dark guy looking slightly uncomfortable. Then the press conference started.

Cheesehead started to recount the places he had visited in his hunt for a new coach. How he had traveled to all the places known to be great football places but that he just wasn't able to find the right guy. Until it struck him. He had to go outside his contacts list. Outside of his comfort zone. Outside all the known coaching trees.

So he started going to exotic places and after only two weeks he found him: Lucius Robinson from Grenada. A country with a population of about the same as Green Bay in the States. Cheesehead then explained why he compared it to Green Bay as great coaches had also reigned there for long times. And Lucius, he explained, will be seen as one of the greats in ten years.

"His coaching pedigree might not be there", Cheesehead went on, "but he does have the intellect. On our CIT (Coaches Intellect Test) he scored a whopping 99. No one I've ever seen has even come close to that. On top of that he scored a 4.5 out of 5 on the CAT (Coaches Aptitude Test) which tests the coaches experience with football situations. Then finally he scored a 4.5 out of 5 on the RTC (Repeated Test Cycle) which shows how consistent a coach is when performing these test ten times in a row to make sure the one score is not a fluke."

"And to prove that I put my money where my mouth is I've awarded Lucius with a salary of 1.2 million dollars".

A stunned silence took hold of the room. After a few seconds people started to pick their jaws up from the floor and a barrage of questions flooded in. Cheesehead however smiled calmly and closed the presser with "The answers my friends will be for all of you to see on the field over the coming seasons".

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2019-10-11 19:48

7th of January 2019, Alligator Arena, Amersfoort. The famous Alligators have just been trounced the Hedgehogs Oberammergau 73-0 at home finishing season 32 with a 11-5 record. They finished second in the division behind Deflators which is no shame. The wild card game looms and many fans hope, as always, that the Alligators can repeat their heroics of six seasons ago when they won the Bowl in season 26 and got promoted to the Elite division.

Three days later however, on xmas day no less, the Alligators fall to a last minute TD by the Cougars and end up losing 24-27. Although the fans are disappointed many see a team that is rising once more and although they leave disappointed it is with the expectation that next season will be a better season.

However unbeknownst to everyone not all is well in Alligator Arena. As the last players leave the stadium we enter a quiet boardroom. Too quiet really. The whole coaching staff is there but there is an ominous silence. The door swings open and in walks Cheesehead, the owner of the team. He briskly walks to the end of the table and without sitting down, slams his fast on the table. "Enough!" he shouts. "I"ve tried to buy a succesful team but look where it's got me. A loss in the wild card round! The wild card round! Are you f$%^ing kidding me." He points at the coffee corner in the boardroom. "I tried to buy success and spend all my money doing it. Now I cannot even afford to buy new coffee for that damned machine over there. I am sorry I have to do it this way, but you are all suspended until you receive your severance package on 7th of January. Thanks for giving me this turd of a team! Now out of the room, all of you. NOW!!!"

Stunned, the people in attendance look at each other confusingly. Then the scottish CB coach Lyle Stuart, always known for having a short fuse, gets up and says: "Well ok then. %^& you Cheesehead and thanks for nothing!" and he storms out of the room. More people follow. TE coach Faouzi Gammoudi is the first one to follow Lyle, then OL coach Dany Creamer and finally all but one have left the room. The last one to get up is HC Safari Gakwaya. He slowly walks to the door but before he walks out he turns around and says in his thick Malawian accent: "You know you only got yourself to blame for this 'turd of a team' Cheesehead. I had expected better from you."

And Cheesehead lowered his head for he knew that Safari was right. He had lashed out and he regretted it already. But it was done now. It made no difference really. The staff would get a nice severance package from a loan he had negotiated from the league. From the league no less, how embarrassing was that. And he had to pay it back in three weeks or else he would have his license to operate revoked. That would really be the end.

But he gathered himself together. He had to. No one else would. He had literally just fired all the staff. Tomorrow trucks were coming to pick up all the exercise equipment in the training facility. He had sold even that, just to get as much money together as possible.

His thoughts wandered to that fateful day that Safari had alluded to when he left the room. It was the end of season 27. 18th of November 2017 to be precise. Alligators first season at the highest level of football, the Elite league. They had finished with a respectable 6-10 record. Something he could be proud of. On top of that his team was ascendant. Many future stars populated the locker room first among them QB Nader Qasem. Even though life had been tough in Elite for the kid the future looked immensely bright for the kid.

He was scheduled to fly to the States for a well deserved holiday later today. However there was one big task left before he could go. The paperwork for the contract renewals for his team. As per league guidelines the paperwork had to be filed before season end, which was today. Fortunately he had done his homework and he had scanned all 53 contracts and attached as pdf's to the email. All he had to do was to press Send. And that is what he did, closing his laptop immediately after doing so, he was running late.

The next day however would be a day he would never forget. He had arrived in the states and just the fact he had 33 voice mails and 65 text messages told him something was very very wrong. Half an hour later he was sitting in the lobby of the airport, sick tot the stomach. Laptop in front of him he was staring at his mail client. There it was: the contract renewal email with the 53 pdf attachments, the paperwork for the contract renewal of most of his players. A pop-up message could be seen over the email with the message reading: "Attachment size exceeds the allowable limit". This message meant that the mail had not been sent and he had failed to see the message pop-up as he had closed his laptop immediately.

He had phoned Commissioner Pete right away but his answer had been very Pete-like: "Don't blame me for your own stupidity, those players are gone Cheesehead". That had meant that most of him team had left including his beloved QB. Just like that.

This was the start of the downfall of the Alligators. Unable to cope with losing his star studded team he had spend money frivolously on journeymen players. And finally, here on the 7th of January 2019, is where it had brought Cheesehead. On the brink of ruin. He only saw one way out. Burn the team to the ground and build it up, step by step. It would mean gutting the team, firing all staff, closing the Academy, everything had to go. And this is what Cheesehead did. The team for season 33 consisted only of draft players, promoted academy players and underage players who were signed off the street and went straight into the first time. The result had been predictable. On the 16th of March 2019 on the final league day of season 33 the Alligators were relegated to Thunder 2. The final game was Xu Da at home and the Alligators scored their first points of the game (a field goal) after going behind 20-0 midway through the second quarter. They ended up losing 47-17. A sad sad end to an era for the once so proud Amersfoort Alligators.

This is where our story begins. We've seen the fall of the Amersfoort Alligators. Now I want to invite you to join the Alligators as they try to reclaim the position at the top of Thunder 1 and posssibly Elite. Cheesehead has given us full access to all facets of the club. We will meet and talk to the people behind the scenes, we will have unrestricted access to the locker room and we will be able to leaf through the play book whenever we want to.

Next time on RZA Insider: the search for the next head coach begins!

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