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| Main / Sea Devils / Weasel Droppings Search Forum | |
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| posted: 2024-04-10 21:08:20 (ID: 100182916) Report Abuse | |
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Gaylord, Michigan
Strange day today as Weasel Trader Fans flocked to La Casa Grande for what was definitely not a friendly. No, today was the end of year meeting. The Gathering of the Weasels. 144K fans, all players, management and staff assembled in an eerily quiet stadium. Exactly 24 hours after the moment the Weasel Traders season ended, The Gathering began. Team General Manager, Mr. A.S.Shat tried to start on an upbeat note by unveiling a banner celebrating the NC West Title trophy. The crowd replied by lustily booing. Unbowed, A.S.Shat, then called for team captain Cristobal Lozano, to come to the podium and accept the NC West trophy itself. Cristobal ,perhaps using his 50INT, instead sent his adorable 4yo son Cristobal jr to the podium in his stead. Little Bal, as he is known, was dressed in his mini helmet and uniform as was his usual. Upon reaching the podium, Little Bal smiled and waved to the crowd as he was clearly enjoying this moment. Then in a beautifully fluid moment that could predict 45+AGI for the youngster, Little Bal punched the GM where it hurts, grabbed the trophy and hoisted it high over his tiny, helmeted head. Before the crowd could figure out whether to cheer the punch or boo the trophy, Little Bal gave them their answer when he smashed the trophy into a million pieces atop his tiny little helmet. The resulting cheer seemed to last forever and registered 3.9 on the Richter scale. As if the the day could get stranger, as soon as the crowd had calmed, it was then time for The Apologies. In one of the greatest traditions in sport, Mr. Weasel, the Weasel Traders mascot took to the podium. He thanked everyone assembled for their support and then began The Apologies. Mr. Weasel begged for forgiveness for his transgressions for over 30 minutes. Every loss, every penalty, No Weasel Trader shortcoming was overlooked as Mr. Weasel took the blame for it all. Poor playbook management, losing to Canadians, the egg salad in the cafeteria, not creating enough turnovers; The list went on and on. After many profuse apologies from the 7ft Weasel with crazy eyes, he asked for forgiveness one final time and then began the long walk to the town line. The assembled crowd filed in behind him for the 2.5 mile walk in silence. It was a very powerful moment when Mr. Weasel reached the town line and all 144K people following him turn their backs on him in unison. Season 55 was over officially over. (Longtime readers of Weasel Droppings will remember that banishment of the mascot was substituted for disemboweling of the mascot way back in season 52 when it became difficult to recruit a new Weasel mascot every year and the team had to use Sexual Harassment Panda as a mascot for a season.) |
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| posted: 2024-04-10 21:15:33 (ID: 100182917) Report Abuse | |
 Source: https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51oxZZdA9OL._AC_SY741_.jpg |
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| posted: 2024-04-11 02:57:20 (ID: 100182918) Report Abuse | |
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all is forgivable but losing to Canadians...they only get 3 downs on offense...questions need answering for the Weasel defense...As for that mascot, you know he's a freak cuz he has no eyebrows
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| posted: 2024-04-12 22:03:11 (ID: 100182964) Report Abuse | |
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The Weasel Traders Finance department (WTF) announced today that a massive fraud had been discovered in their yearly audit. The fraud entailed the payroll department for paying for somebody/thing called a FizzyOTheraptor. The common wisdom around La Casa Grande is that a FizzOTheraptor is some sort of extinct dinosaur with intestinal bloating and Weasels don't want anything to do with that.
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| posted: 2024-04-13 21:16:18 (ID: 100183003) Report Abuse | |
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Just stood in a weasel dropping
ewww  |
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| posted: 2024-04-14 16:36:02 (ID: 100183024) Report Abuse | |
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Curious, yes, Weasels this year lost to Canadians...
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| posted: 2024-04-16 02:22:28 (ID: 100183059) Report Abuse | |
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Strange scene during HC Brais Bascek's press conference today. A fight broke out between TE coach Manuel Croitori and DL coach Ottfreid Reiter. The press ran for cover as the two behemoth coaches went from bellowing to full contact MMA smackdown in a matter of seconds. Chairs flew and the podium was destroyed as the 2 hurled each other around the room. After 5 minutes of mayhem it was over and the two completely exhausted men left the room bloodied and worse for wear but arm in arm.
When the presser resumed HC Bascek explained "I have known those 2 from my coaching start in Kinshasa. Manuel is from the Congo and Ottfreid is from demrepcongo2 and he doesn't like to be teased about it." |
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| posted: 2024-04-16 08:34:56 (ID: 100183063) Report Abuse | |
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Hamburger Abendblatt:
It was supposed to be a relaxing offseason trip to Michigan. You have to pass the time somehow next Friday. But what was planned as a family trip could end in chaos for the St Pauli Packers. The Michigan Weasel Traders keep entertaining the fans of the Sea Devils League 1 with new stories. First, the mascot Mr. Weasel, who is very popular outside of Michigan, was fired and now there is a fight among the coaching staff. It doesn't seem certain whether the Weasel Traders will still be able to host the game properly on Friday, as things are seething among the fans. Traditionalists now fear a loss of credibility. "For some, Weasel Traders is just a name, but real fans live by this motto," writes one angry fan. In large parts of Michigan there is a great lack of understanding as to why Mr. Weasel was not traded. Management will still have to explain itself. New trouble is already on the way, because it has not yet been clarified between the Weasel Traders Finance department and the Weasel Traders fans who is allowed to use the abbreviation WTF. Maybe the courts will have to decide that soon. The St Pauli Packers will only arrive with a basic team. The big family trip will be rescheduled this offseason. |
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| posted: 2024-04-16 14:20:27 (ID: 100183070) Edits found: 2 Report Abuse | |
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Cheeseburger right back at ya'!
The Weasel Trader Foundation (WTF) would like to say on behalf of all Weasel Trader Fans (WTF), Weasel Trader Founders (WTF), Weasel Traders Frierson Youth Academy LLC (WTFYALL), Weasel Trader Friends (WTF), Weasel Trader Freaks (WTF) and the entire Weasel Trader Family (WTF) that all is well and any reports of disunity are overblown. Any report that this trip might not be vacation worthy is "fake news" and a mild insult to the good people of Gaylord. Northern Michigan has long been home to a large number of Green Bay Packer fans. The Cheesehead faithful should make this Fridays Friendly between the St. Pauli Packers and the Weasel Traders an event to remember. We are a small town of 15k people who depend on tourism dollars/Euros/Yen, whatever you got. Rest assured, the game and stadium will run with will run with military precision. (The only open question is if the Packers bring their YA for a halftime scrimmage with WTFYall scheduled between 16:30:00 and 16:30.01, or not) But the hospitality will be without equal. The concession stands have been fully stocked with many cases of St. Pauli Girl beer and at least one six pack of St. Pauli Girl N.A. Please remember that the party is not limited to Friday. Saturday, April 20th is a massive state holiday here in Michigan. 420 as it is known here is an event that should be experienced at least once in life. In summation, We had, and will continue to hope, that this match will be the "Friendliest of Friendlies" While it is true that the very popular Mr. Weasel was marched out of town, a new mascot will be in attendance to entertain the crowd. The new mascot has not been officially named yet due to complications with the new mascots They/Them pronouns. In closing, the Weasel Traders look forward to hosting our friends from Germany this Friday and look forward to the Thursday night reception/foam party for all St. Pauli Girl spokesmodels, cheerleaders and single female fans in the Weasel Trader Foundation (WTF) skybox inside La Casa Grande. Last edited on 2024-04-16 18:10:21 by Stabler12 |
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| posted: 2024-04-17 11:39:37 (ID: 100183110) Report Abuse | |
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The family trip remains postponed. After the Weasel Traders announced that they would be throwing a big party lasting several days, the demand for tickets from St Pauli fans rose to new heights.
The fact that only St Pauli Girl from the city of Bremen, which is hostile to Hamburg, is served is mercifully ignored. It can't be because of the anticipation of 420, because this has been legal in Germany for 17 days today. A St Pauli fan who would like to remain anonymous sums it up: "This weekend we're bulldozing Northern Michigan and a season later the Traders fans are visiting us and we're tearing down Hamburg together." The word “party” is understood on both sides of the Atlantic. Meanwhile, Mr. Weasel doesn't seem to be out of work for long. As SD1 insider Ian Rapoport reports, he is about to get involved with one of the Canadian SD franchises. New entertainment would then be provided. |
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