The Weasel News Network has learned that Michigan Weasel Trader K Antoine Salisbury, "Steak" to his teammates, has been placed on double secret probation since the end of the last league game.

The Michigan Weasel Traders are proud to announce a new, fun pregame activity for the fans! Starting right now, February 3, fans are invited to drop by La Casa Grande to try out for the role of backup kicker for the Weasel Traders. So come on down and try a measly 31 yard field goal. That's right, the ball will be snapped from the 14. 1 yard closer than an extra point! How tough can it be? The winning fan will receive a uniform, $50k per week salary and a front row seat at the 50 yard line for the remaining season. This event will end February 11 at 14:59:59, one hour before game time since rosters have to be set by then.

While the entire MWT team and fanbase strives to be inclusive...we would like to stipulate a number of conditions.
1. An applicant living west of the Great Lakes can NOT be from north of the 48th parallel. Exceptions for any Washingtonian, Idahoan, Montanan, North Dakotaian, or Minnesotan that this rule pertains to.
2. No applicant may live north of any Great Lake not named Michigan.
3. If an applicant lives east of East of Cornwall, NY, they must live south of the 45th parallel. Exceptions made for any New Hampshirite or Maine-iac that this rule pertains to.

Weasel Trader Coach Brais "Blazer" Baczek at todays post-game press conference responding to a question.

No, I didn't lose any confidence in Thunder Bolt (QB Terrence Bolt). It's just that we were behind with like 8 minutes left in the game and Sunny D (QB Sione Dau) is screaming at the offence on the sideline. He was like " We have Never lost to these M%$&#* and we aren't about to now." How could I not put him in? So the Chargers pin us deep with only 7:22 left and I put Sunny D in. He saunters on to the field right past Charger safety Akesson. Akesson said something and Sunny D said something back and I could tell that pissed Akesson off when he shoved Sunny D. No reaction at all from Sunny D. That guy is cool as a cucumber. Anyway, it's first down and I call a run play and Sunny D changes it to play action pass. Akesson bit hard and we get a 97 yard TD pass to Snowboard (WR Burton Park). We are right back in it! The D does it's job with a big sack by Whiskey (DE Mitch Jameson) giving us the ball back. Sunny D takes the field again and we get a first down. I call for another run to start the next set of downs and he just stares at me like he didn't hear the playcall. Boom! 50 yard pass right past Akesson again. We have the lead! 3 and out for the Chargers with 2 minutes left on the clock. The final series, I tell Sunny D to just run the clock out and protect the ball. Does he listen? Hell no. I hear him yell across the line to Akesson, "Your Mom says hi" That's some cold $%$& right there. Anyway, first play he hooks up with Snowboard again for 71 right in front of Akesson. Unbelievable. 200+ yards in 5 plays. Incredible performance. I don't know what happened last season with them in the same division but Sunny D played Akesson like a fiddle. I know Snowboard got 'Man of the Match" but that performance by Sunny D will go down in Weasel history.

Sunny D is a Sea Devils NC legend

Michigan Weasel Traders @ Minnesota Silvers
Legend says that these 2 teams have met in the Supercup with the Pre-Silvers taking the match. But there are no records even detailing the final score. Lost to history. Strange that now these 2 find themselves in the first of two divisional meetings coming so late in the season. The playoffs are on the line. The Silvers host tomorrow and it is Chad Thurman Bobble Head Day at RyanTeg Stadium. (Here on the 59th day of season 59 it seems right to celebrate #59 except the game is tomorrow, Day 60. so there :baeh Weasel fans are encouraged to be respectful of the Day and not do anything with the likeness of Chad that their Mother would not be proud of.

Urgent Note for Weasel Trader Fans (WTF)attending the Game:
For some reason, RyanTeg stadium is missing 22,200 seats. No one knows when the R-T Stadium will achieve full 144,300 seats but it certainly will not be by gameday. WTFans are encouraged to get to the stadium early if they expect to Weasel their way in.

Note: The reason there is less seats is because I have 71M, and I don't want to spend more money to get seats this season...yet.

Sorry, no offence intended about the size of RyanTeg. The warning to WTF world was because every game The Traders play is a sell out. Forget the official attendance numbers, Weasel Trader fans will fill every last seat, aisle, and rafter not filled by Silver Fans. Some have estimated over 200K at some Trader Matches. Well over the official attendance number. No one knows how all the extra Weasel Trader fans without tickets get in. They will just seem to Weasel their way in.

Just back from a self imposed internet Blackout. Thought it would be fun to "watch" the Silvers game. From what I've read and the score it seemed I really missed a good one. Here goes

Nice long, opening drive by the Silvers but then K Fischer dissapoints. Don't I know this pain.
Yikes! 3 straight runs and out.
Fumble! What do you mean we didn't get it? And he made a yard. WTF. Aaaaaand they punch it in. Thank goodness I know WTF nation triumphs in this one.
S: Why is Fatih Khalil playing defence for them? I thought he was a Weasel. My bad, Confused with Weasel Trader FB Latif Khaleel.
WT: 3rd and 8 always calls for a run, AmIright ? Steak missed a FG. What else is new. 53 is forgivable though, it's a long one.
S: EXXXXcept that Fischer just hit from 52 to start the 2nd quarter!
WT: Toots for 80 and the TD! "selected Steve Horn (WR/L) as target" is never a bad choice. Did you see the Extra point barely sneek inside the right upright?
S:Other than the 19 yards it was a good stop.
WT: Darius "Rucker" Schmidt for 80! This is hilarious to envision Rucker rumbling for 80 with his 46.1 speed.
6:37 2 and 6 to go on opp 8, Omar Council (OC) snaps the ball to Richard Bruton (QB), Richard Bruton (QB) selected Nicky Peterson (TE/R) as target, he passes inner right for 8 yards to him, intercepted by Cristóbal Lozano (MLB) on the opp 1 for inches (I-formation vs. 4-4-3) more
6:35 Cristóbal Lozano (MLB) returns the ball, missed tackle by Adolph Denson (WR/R), Nicky Peterson (TE/R) is tackling him, this was a 50 yards interception return (4-4-3 vs. I-formation)
Love that Rucker rumbles for 80 while Baller and his 49.6 gets caught after 50 yards by a tight end. How freakin' fast is Peterson?
WT: Hunter Yanez for 40! 2 fast facts: First, Hunters old nickname was Biden. No current knickname, suggestions needed. 2nd, Florian Turk is currently 2nd in Weasel Trader Man of the Match voting right behind QB Terrence "Thunder" Bolt.
S: FG is good by me to end the half. 21-13 Hell of a Q2 for the Weasels.

Start of the second half
WT: Hate 3 and outs
12:58 4 and 1 to go on opp 49, Filipe Amaechi (OC) snaps the ball to Richard Bruton (QB), the QB runs by himself, he starts running over the center, Mitch Jameson (DE/R) breaks through, Nicky Peterson (TE/L) blocks, Richard Bruton (QB) fumbles, recovered by Mitch Jameson (DE/R) (Big I formation vs. 4-4-3) more
12:54 Mitch Jameson (DE/R) returns the ball, Wilson Wells (TE/R) is not able to make the tackle, Cecil Harris (HB/C) is not able to make the tackle, Nicky Peterson (TE/L) is tackling him, this was a 25 yards fumble return (4-4-3 vs. Big I formation) more
S: Seeing that 4th and one play for the second time. Whiskey blows it up and destroys Bruton. How fast is that Peterson kid?
WT: Solid 26 yard drive to capitalize on the fumble.
S: We were lucky to stop them and have a missed field goal but I am more worried about Baller's twisted knee.
9:09 Michigan Weasel Traders: Cristóbal Lozano (MLB) injured (Twisted knee) during the play (Wishbone vs. 4-3-4)
Shame these onfield "dings" don't show up later in PC or something. Not trying to jinx Baller or anything, just thinking.
WT: Baller is back just in time to see the Touchdown. 35-13 Everything is going swimmingly.
S: Another long field goal for the Silvers 35-16. Being up 19, you can kick long field goals all day as far as I am concerned.
0:36 1 and 10 to go on own 41, Elias Hawk (OC) snaps the ball to Terence Bolt (QB), Terence Bolt (QB) selected Simon Hroch (WR/R) as target, Osman Omer (DE/L) breaks through the line, Eun-Hee Gal (FB/R) blocks, he passes inner right for 11 yards to him, intercepted by Chad Thurman (MLB) on the opp 48 (Shotgun 4 WR vs. Dime 4DL MLB 4CB 2SF) more
0:33 Chad Thurman (MLB) returns the ball, Albert Ellison (WR/R) is not able to make the tackle, Simon Hroch (WR/R) missed the tackle, Terence Bolt (QB) is tackling him, this was a 24 yards interception return (Dime 4DL MLB 4CB 2SF vs. Shotgun 4 WR)
WTF! Simon "Sez" Hroch ran the wrong pattern! He is supposed to cross in front of Thurman, not behind him! Great tackle by QB Thunder Bolt. Converted from LB as a young player, Thunder is headed for the Weasel Trader Ring of Honor. Honestly, though, I thought it was going to be a personal foul for sure. If that tackle isn't going to draw a penalty here in the RZA, I don't know what will.
OK 35-23.
WT: Nice 5+ minute drive ended with a pick. Sunny D owned this one completely. He misread the coverage. Getting up after slamming the ball carrier to the ground, Sunny D pointed immediately to himself and apologized on the sidelines.
Richard Bruton (QB), finally he gets tackled by Simon Tusori (FS/C), forward progress: 2 yards (Goalline O vs. 5-3-3)
Finally? The Silvers were on the 2. This was a tush push. 35-30 I am glad I know the outcome.
WT 7:12 in the game and we have the ball. Thunder Bolt was on for 1 15 yard completion and was great. The pass by Sunny D was embarassingly far over Toots head and it was the same play, different formation, that Thunder Bolt delivered on in the 2nd quarter for 80.
I agree with the punt at 5:08.
Injury fill in CB Fedele "Castro" Ferrara playing well but Silver QB Bruton marching down the field.
WOW! Did not see that ending coming. The fan reaction when Fischer lined up the field goal on the 12 was surreal.
Great Game.

The Michigan Weasel Traders are proud to announce a game day partnership with the worlds best orange adjacent drink, Sunny D. Each fan attending todays final game of the League season will receive a complementary bottle of the orange type liquid.

In a press conference today after The Wednesday secured thier playoff place the Head Coach proclaimed that the sun would set on star Player Sunny D and Wrdnesday would DROP the Weasels for good.

We arent sure what hed been drinking